Happy Singles awareness day

Today was yet another day to practice empathic listening. This time, of course, we applied it to relationships. We went from bad first dates to how to make friends with your mother-in-law. Also one key priciple we learned is how to go back to an old conversation, and how in doing so we can apologize for mistakes we have made in the past.
I've already had the opportunity in my life to apply this. It's a bit of a personal story, so I won't go into details, but I was able to contact an old friend I had offended months ago, and apologize, saving the friendship and at least seemiingly removing all hard feelings, I then taught him how I learned this in my communications class, "rewinding" to an old conversation, and he was very excited to use it in his own life to resolve a few different conflicts he was having in a few of his relationships, especially that of his fiance.

The effects of Empathic listening

Well, today we covered two topics, we related that war clip to our primary emotions. Often when we hurt others it is when we are only reacting out of fear. When we gain understanding, that fear often turns to love, and we regret the things we had done out of fear.
We also made great headway into the role play, we really started getting somewhere. Part of which is due to our greater skills in empathic listening, another part, I suspect, however is due to the fact that Brother Adams stated that he wanted to resolve the role play, and has been going a little bit easier on us to accomplish that goal, since we are now doing our best to be empathic listeners.

Emotional aikido

Many have commented that they don't understand why using aikido in communications can be so effective if we can't ever meet our needs in a confrontation. I agreed with them at first, but now I'm starting to see it in a different light. No goog can come from confronting a confrontationalist, as they are confroting you. The only thing that will be accomplished is that both parties will end up on the defensive, and neither will get their objectives met. However, if we use Aikido communicating, eventually the communication assailant will have to stop "attacking" simply because they are either to frustrated or to exhausted to continue. It is at this point when we can finally voice our needs, and get successful two-way communication, simply because in a confrontation both sides see only a win/lose situation. However, once the moment of extreme emotion is passed, a win/win solution can finally be achieved.

This class has started me analyzing everything

The scripture:
John 11:11-14
11 These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may aawake him out of sleep.
12 Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall ado well.
13 Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep.
14 Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead.
Here is a great example of listening with autobiographical responses. The Apostles evaluated what the Savior was saying, and jumped to conclusions.
Doctrine And covenants 8:2
2 Yea, behold, I will atell you in your mind and in your bheart, by the cHoly Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.
We must be careful not to use autobiographical responses when listening to the spirit.
Insights:
Today we started learning more of the “how” of empathic listening, not just the “how not” First things first, we must put away our agenda, and just listen. As we listen we should rephrase the content of what the person is saying, and also reflect their emotion. If we can’t quite get it at first we can practice a bit by “parroting”
Also we learned, that after understanding, we can be understood. We can tactfully induce others to meet our communications needs.

Application:
Empathic listening can be used almost everyday. Using it we can solve problems between our roommates, our friends and families. I even had an opportunity to use it while trying to help my roommate fix his car over the phone. (Some of the cables to the starter were loose.)
Also, as far as meeting our needs, everyone needs to be understood. Teaching communication skills to others will always benefit us when we truly need to work out our problems.

Teaching:
I talked with my mother (a great advice giver) over the phone about empathic listening, and how to better use it, especially when working with us, her children.