The Good in Others

The main thing we talked about in class today is the power of “pointing out the positive.” This is something I’ve had to work on in my own life, in my youth and in high school, I always had very negative friends, and it wore on me, in the end I had a horrible self-esteem, however, as I prepared myself for and left on my mission, I began to see the power in positive reinforcement, especially from a leadership perspective. Getting rid of the “but” also helped. In times my comments changed from: “You’re a great missionary, but you need to get up on time,” to: “You’re a great missionary, and I know you can overcome this and get up on time.” (this is a very general example) The same problem is addressed, however, I began to notice that those I spoke to this way, began to do everything they could to improve. Pointing out people’s positive characteristics seems to allow them to draw better on inward strength, to overcome whatever their shortcomings are, and as we focus more and more on the good, we seem to minimize the bad that we see in others, and build much stronger relationships simply because the little things just don’t bother us anymore.
Now I was at my sister’s house today doing laundry, having a discussion with her on this topic, as with others, but as we were speaking, I realized, this was something that just came naturally to her. I was trying to teach her this principle we learned in communications class, but in the process I learned that she’s done it all along. It was great watching her teach her eldest (He starts kindergarten in the fall) how to read, and not once was it “You didn’t say this right” or “that letter doesn’t make that sound” The whole time I heard “Great job, you just read a new word” or if he didn’t get it “Oh that was so close, try again.” And that’s the point we should reach in our lives, pointing out good things should become something we do naturally, not just something we do for our communications class.